Doomoo's Blog

I check Twitter. Two tweets about how to better use Google Reader. I check Facebook. I respond to a cool status message. I check Twitter via Tweetdeck. I check GMail. Facebook again. Nothing has changed. I delete the spam from GMail. I retweet some something to keep my Twitter account alive. It’s 12:30 AM. What am I doing? Or avoiding? Sleep is overrated. But then so is social networking.

I post my thoughts on my blog.

…esp. for the non-Mallus

1. Thou shalt not deny the booze. There is no excuse to say no to alcohol. Not after the uncle offering you the booze bought five bottles of whiskey on his way back home from a bypass surgery.

2. Thou shalt diversify. No edible item at the table is ‘the best’. The moment you start stuffing yourself with fried fish thinking it’s the yummiest thing on the menu, you discover the chicken curry. But you might just be a kilo too late.

3. Thou shalt extrapolate. Even if you don’t understand the language, you shall do your best to reconstruct a coherent sentence from the 2 words you understand out of every 30.

4. Thou shalt not try fancy, new-fangled technology devices. Mobile signals are weak and the GPS thingy does not even connect to a satellite. Shame on you for fiddling with that fancy phone.

5. Thou shalt never ever, EVER travel by sleeper class. Whether it’s the noisy guys on the way to Kerala or the ribald Romeos on the way back, you don’t want to have to show your macho moves to save the wife. Mainly because you don’t have any.

6. Thou shalt not accept gifts heavier than 1 kg. You now have enough rice flour and bananas to adopt a pet monkey who likes appams. And if it weren’t for coolies, you would have lost a shoulder.

7. Thou shalt lose weight BEFORE thou travel(eth?). Because 3 breakfasts and 2 lunches and a smorgasbord for dinner everyday will push you over the quintal.

8. Thou shalt believe in a higher presence. Not because there are a large number of places of worship per area, but because you have travelled on a road not wide enough for two cars at 80 KMPH and lived to tell the tale.

9. Thou shalt respect traditional dress. The mundu is not only airy, but also customizable from long to short at a single flick of the wrist.

10. Thou shalt not state preference of food under any condition. Else thou shalt have to eat thy preference till thou loosen thy mundu, regain thy weight, and manage to speak the two words to communicate that you are done.

But seriously, Kerala is a beautiful place to visit especially if you have relatives there like my wife does. Despite not understanding the language, I really look forward to going because of the copious alcohol, the delectable cuisine, the fresh air and the warm people. What more is there to life, really?

Q: What’s the best word to scare one’s wife when one’s down with fever and other flu-like symptoms?

A: Oink.

I know, don’t tell me – I’m mean as an average. Sick as a mass murderer. Aaargh.

The similes are off colour today. Apologies. A little under the weather. And speaking of weather, check this out.

Hurrah for our government and their proactiveness. Ok back to the bed. Blogging shall soon resume. Don’t go too far.

Based on this photo, I’d say the Raju brothers have already identified blood sucking as a corecompetence.

You know Dhoni means business when his articles say that his batting has been ‘pathetic’ and ‘it’s time for him to perform’. True to form, Mahendra Singh Dhoni crafted a composed yet crushing unbeaten 58 after every batsman in the Chennai Super Kings pulled his weight to lead the team to a score in the vicinity of 180.

Another person he criticized was Albie Morkel saying that ‘he wasn’t pulling his weight’. And as if by captain’s orders, Morkel snapped up Gilly and Laxman in the first two overs and could have gotten Dwayne Smith caught twice, but for the fielders who decided not to embarass the Chargers by getting them 4 down for so little. So Dwayne enjoyed himself by flicking, driving, pulling and hoiking like a man possessed till he finally got out on 49. Jakati snapped up 4 for the second game in a row and the dropped catches didn’t cost the Super Kings at all.

The team that won today’s match would reach the top of the standings and it was Chennai, who after starting from behind have overtaken the rest of the pack. Dhoni’s golden (or is it yellow now) touch is back after Andrew’s Flinting off. A win by 79 runs does wonders for their Net Run Rate as well, which might just come into play at the end of the league stage given how closely the teams rank.

Kolkata Knight Riders seemed to be out of it at their 15 over stage chugging along barely at 6 an over, but a final blitz from Hodge saw them surge past 150. However, it’s not easy thing to win when your determination to lose is so strong. And so it passed that KKR shot themselves in the foot in the field – over and over again, until they ensured that KXIP Punjab won it off the last ball. And did I see Yuvraj say, “Fuck you” to Ganguly?

RCB vs Mumbai on the other hand was decidedly one-sided. Who thought Kallis could have batted like this? And Uthappa has finally come good this IPL. Just when my shandy-covered tongue at the Pune airport professed that he would no longer be the force he once was. Ah, what the hey – the drink was good anyway. This team has really come a long way – another underdog story perhaps?

Boring observation of the day: The IPL short and long codes that are flashed on the score ticker at the bottom of the screen and the website (iplt20.com or t20.com) keep changing.

Tomorrow sees the beginning of a new diet. I shall fight the fat, I say!

A great couple of matches. The Rajasthan Royals continue their upward trajectory by beating the pants off the Deccan Chargers. Another strong performance by Yusuf. He’s become almost ridiculously reliable. No one can call them an underdog anymore!

In the second match, just as the Daredevils seemed to be running away with it, Captain Courageous stumped Warner and turned it around. After that Karthik finally managed to get out on the second attempt and the rest was a mere formality. An unknown hero came forth in Jakati today and I’m really impressed with his stock ball’s dip and turn. An impressive outing for the slow left armer. What a day for my two favorite captains in the series.

The series is mighty close now and you can put your money on almost anyone. But it’s the Royals and the Super Kings that have the momentum. And unlike last year there are no clear leaders. That’s always good for the game.

Hate mobile blogging!

At least one of the days has gotten over on time. 11:30 PM.

Chennai, Chennai Super Kings – trying to give RCB and KKR an intense fight in their race for the bottom, the rain rescued them and gave them one more point. What a disappointment from my (current) home team. Meanwhile, the Chargers continue the dream run and look scarily ’90s-Australian-ish. It’s more interesting though because Australia didn’t have the Daredevils for competition. Gibbs murdered us. The last over was seen in a car showroom, it’s good that I didn’t run home on time for it.

The Mumbai Indians marauded the poor KKR who in addition to their ignominous performance were called the Right Niders several times. Losing by 90-odd runs and having a fake blogger possibly part of your team must be thrilling for Shah Rukh Khan – so much publicity. A second IPL of profits, SRK? Coming back to the cricket, that’s what happens when you have Sachin and Jayasuriya opening the innings. Only in the IPL. All said and done, Tendlya is still Tendlya – a gem of a man and a gem of a cricketer, whatever some (fake) bloggers might have to say.

Day dream: I wish there was an IPL of test cricket. I know it wouldn’t have the mass appeal of T20, but idiots like me just drool at the prospect. How much more beautiful would today’s match have been in Test Cricket.

And a beautiful piece on cricket commentary on Cricinfo – Night of the screamers.

I leave you with a quote from the article:

When something great happens, they have nowhere to go, no upper register left to use. When 20 off 10 balls exhausts your superlatives, how do you describe a hundred off 50 balls? When a young Indian domestic player getting away a couple of beefy blows is so thrilling, what tone do you adopt for Sachin Tendulkar? As Gilbert and Sullivan put it in The Gondoliers, “When everyone is somebodee / Then no one’s anybody”

Lalit Modi is not supposed to be out of India. And since he is, he decided to share his break with us by creating what is the equivalent of a commercial break in a movie – a tactical time-out. Sachin Tendulkar and the Mumbai Indians definitely won’t be fans of Modi’s brainwaves today. What a disaster – they were cruising after ten overs of their batting. And they had a great bowling comeback after a quick DC start!

Good job by the Deccan Chargers though (or as the ToI likes to call them – Team Hyderabad), they’re scripting quite the ultimate turnaround so far, from last to no. 1 this year. 3 out of 3 matches they’ve won this year.

How about strategizing a reserve day Mr La-mo? Did that ever cross your ass… err… mind?

On a more serious note, this evening seemed eerily empty. Had to make do with Constantine on WB and some other old movies. The end of IPL 2 is gonna give me withdrawal symptoms worse than season 1. Last year, I wasn’t tweeting or blogging so much.

The bottom two teams of last year in the top scoring and probably most interesting match so far this year. The chargers look scarily solid. Virat Kohli finally finds form. Dravid regains the purple or pink or whatever-color cap. Missed most of the match because of a proposal we’re chasing at work. Hope we win that, else this IPL match miss would have been for nothing.

Chennai is off tomorrow. No, not because the Super Kings are playing. I’m so gay for Dhoni. Anyway, political parties have decided to reduce their state’s productivity due to the war in Sri Lanka. So tried to get drunk tonight. But nothing. No effect. I’m up at night writing blog posts that in all probability only I read. I suppose I could sleep if I wanted to. At the moment I feel like Megadeth’s track from Risk that goes ‘Ins-omni-omni-omni-omni-a‘. Check it out, you might like it.

Good night. Or is it?